First set back in a few weeks and I honestly didn’t freak out this time. Between the post notes and daily reminders in my bathroom food is actually good for your body. Now I just gotta make sure I don’t over eat

Six months difference 💪

Six months difference 💪

lahyes:

i just want to cuddle with a guy and have his arms wrapped around me and when im cold or sad he will pull me closer to his chest, so close i can hear his heartbeat and then have him pull the cover over us and just fall asleep in his arms okay 

(Source: ashftirwin)

My rock through everything life throws my way, I can count on him to randomly send me bible verses on days I really need them, for him to yelling at me and make me hold myself accountable for my set backs. I couldn’t be blessed with a better best friend

My rock through everything life throws my way, I can count on him to randomly send me bible verses on days I really need them, for him to yelling at me and make me hold myself accountable for my set backs. I couldn’t be blessed with a better best friend

This is prob the loneliest fucking recovery of my life.

My first day has been spent in group for three hours, lunch, snack, dinner, snack, study time and I’m waiting on my last snack and shake before bed, I got to talk to Jordan which was a major help.

It’s not even two and I’m ready to leave this place. I don’t like crying I don’t like talking about this problem.

Reason number one I tell no one about my disorder I don’t want the pitty look. Yes I have a disorder please do not try to tip toe around it like if you say the wrong thing it’s gonna send me to the gym or skip my next planned meal. No it doesn’t work like that. If you say something about me it’ll stick in my head yes but it won’t cause me to stop eating.

This weekend I got to be a normal teen, I drank till I couldn’t walk and got sent the er and put in a walking cast. I let baseball players do Jell-O shots off my belly, I made out with one of the baseball players, I ate what I wanted, I was 100% happy all weekend. Tomorrow I start my treatment center and I’m honestly 100% scared. I’ll be with no family or friends and I will be watched 24 hours a day eating every meal and shake and talking to people about my feelings and why I do the things I do to cope with stuff. I honestly feel like it’s gonna push me down the road to not wanna get better. I could cry right now

After this weekend I had done major slip ups but I leave for treament tomorrow so I’ll be back on track by the end of the week

Okay lady and gents, it’s love yourself week. I’m too scare to post this stuff on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram just for the fact that I have not told many people about my eating disorder and I know I don’t know anyone on here. Besides the fact that I don’t like to eat, my eating disorder has made me hate my body. The past year has made a huge impact on me, I’ve learned to love my belly, and I’m starting to like my legs and butt. I’m jealous of girls who are 100% okay with their body I wish I could act it. After being in group and seeing all these drop dead pretty girls it made me think no one is perfect even if they are super pretty they have their own problems. I would be no were without my best friends and doctors. I may not get to act like a normal teenager and get sloppy drunk or get to eat whatever I want but I refuse to let this eating disorder beat me.

Okay lady and gents, it’s love yourself week. I’m too scare to post this stuff on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram just for the fact that I have not told many people about my eating disorder and I know I don’t know anyone on here. Besides the fact that I don’t like to eat, my eating disorder has made me hate my body. The past year has made a huge impact on me, I’ve learned to love my belly, and I’m starting to like my legs and butt. I’m jealous of girls who are 100% okay with their body I wish I could act it. After being in group and seeing all these drop dead pretty girls it made me think no one is perfect even if they are super pretty they have their own problems. I would be no were without my best friends and doctors. I may not get to act like a normal teenager and get sloppy drunk or get to eat whatever I want but I refuse to let this eating disorder beat me.